Defining Moment

“I think the word moment would work better than minute in this instance.”

I’ve mentioned before that the Lovely Lady acts as an unofficial editor, a filter of sorts, for me in my frequent ventures into writing.  Most mornings after I post one of these essays, I find an email in my inbox which bears her return address.

The terse, one word subject helps me to be prepared for the bad news.  All it says is Blog.  

As much as I love reading her notes (she always ends them with an I love you and, for some reason I kind of like that), I don’t want to be told I’ve made an error.

This is one error I make frequently.  Time, it seems is of little import to me in real life, so I regard it almost as lightly in my writing.  That said, I do know the difference between the two words.

A minute is a set period of time—sixty seconds—one sweep of the second hand around the circumference of an analog clock.  It is not some ethereal, arbitrary concept hanging out in eternity, available to fit into whatever parameters I wish it to be stuffed.

clock-943740_640Of minutes, there is a finite supply.  One thousand four hundred forty, every day. Weeks, years, decades, centuries—all of them are filled with minutes of sixty seconds each.

Not so, the moment.  Moments, I can elongate to make them last as long as I wish.  On the other hand, I may also abbreviate them to my heart’s content.

The definition of a moment is, quite simply, a short period of time.  It is a fuzzy, arbitrary unit of measurement, determined by the perspective through which it is viewed.

A moment in history could, when viewed from the perspective of modern-day man, be a century.  If we speak of a moment of decision, that instant upon which rests all of life for one person or even a civilization, it might be merely a fraction of a second.

We get to define what a moment is.  

And in defining moments, we have a view of our past.

We get to define what a moment is. And in defining moments, we have a view of our past. Click To Tweet

Somehow, I don’t think that is what most readers expected when they read the title to this little essay.  To most of us, the term defining moment has always meant a time period which determines who we are and the path our life will take.

A defining moment is one in which our destiny hangs in the balance and any choice we make will either make or break us.

Somehow, I don’t like the idea of a period of time defining who I am.  Such a concept means that we are swept along at the whim of events, without direction—without a guiding truth—at the mercy of all about us.

I’d rather be defining moments in the light of our faith—pointing out where we were tempted to leave the path, but avoided the snare—recognizing the attacks of an unseen enemy who was powerless to sway us from our resolve—identifying the time period in which we served as we have been served.

The moments are defined, rather than them defining us.  Oh, there are, without question, moments we can point to where decisions were made—decisions which have changed us for all time;  The moment we were drawn to belief in a Savior, the moment we determined to follow close after Him, even moments we passed important landmarks along the way—marriages, births, deaths.

The moments don’t define us.  Our Creator does.

Moments don't define us. Our Creator does. Click To Tweet

Before even a single day of our life was lived, every moment was known to Him.  Every moment, even those so-called defining ones.  (Psalm 139:16

Do you know where the word moment came from?  It is derived from the Latin momentum, which is the equivalent of—well, of our word—momentum. (It also happens to come from the Middle English word, momentum, but we probably should stop beating that horse now, shouldn’t we?)

Moments always move forward.  Time runs in only one direction for us. We can make a difference by what we do with this moment we are in and with future moments—nothing more.

We move forward.  With no guarantee of a single minute ahead of us, we still have this moment in which we live, right now.

It may turn out to be the thinnest sliver of a moment ever cut from time, or it might be a great big wedge of a moment.  We don’t know.

I want to define the moments in which I live.  I want to be able to look back on every one of them and see that the momentum with which they were filled was, to quote Eugene Peterson, a long obedience in the same direction.

Every moment filled with purpose—His purpose.

Every moment.

Defining moments. 

 

 

For You, a thousand years are as a passing day,
    as brief as a few night hours.
(Psalm 90:4 ~ NLT)

 

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly it’s part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
(Day by Day ~ Lina Sandell ~ Swedish poet/hymnwriter ~ 1832-1902)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Never Much Hope

It was a hot Saturday afternoon in the Rio Grande Valley.  That, of course, could have described almost every one of the fifty-some Saturdays which occurred in any given year, but this one, I remember.

flag-football-1329752_640I remember it because it was the day the band geeks were going to show up the jocks in a game of two-below football.  I was one of the geeks.  Still am, truth be told.

You never saw such a group of unlikely athletes.  Oh, there were a few who had the physique for it, but the coordination hadn’t come along with the build.  On this day, we weren’t worried about that.

We were a team.  A group of guys focused on the same goal.  All for one and one for all.  We had heart.

The jocks showed up, jeering and making predictions.  Seventy to nothing, one big muscle-bound fellow taunted.  Others foresaw pain in our collective future.  

We weren’t afraid—much.

The game began.  For a little while, we held our own and it seemed that the predictions were very much flawed.  Then, little by little, our confidence faded.

Two-below football is a minimum contact form of the sport which allows blocking, but not much other hitting of body on body.  The person carrying the ball should expect nothing more than the slapping of two hands below the waist to bring the play to a halt.

Somehow, the jocks had the idea that it meant you simply tackled with two hands below the belt-line.  It turned out that one of the predictions had been right:  There was pain in our future.  A good bit of it.

I played for the entire first half.  A fair portion of the second half was spent on the ground along the sideline biting back the groans that a knee to the groin had elicited.  I was not alone on the sideline.  But still, I did get back out and play, however hampered I was by the discomfort, to end the game.

Heart or no heart, confidence or not, we lost—big time.  I don’t think the score was seventy to nothing, but it might as well have been.

There had never been a chance.  We were beaten before it began.

What’s that?

You thought the story would end better?  Perhaps a miracle finish?  Maybe a secret weapon to unleash upon the callous football players?

It didn’t happen.

It wasn’t a Hollywood story, you know.  It wasn’t even an epic fairy tale.

Happily ever after didn’t happen.

We lost.  Utterly and completely.

That’s life.  No, really.  It’s what life is.  Reality isn’t all parties and happiness.  Nobody wins every time.  Nobody.

Some of my friends will be unhappy with me as they read this.  Many voices have spoken different words into their lives.

I will respectfully and (hopefully) gently insist that our Creator has a different path for us.

For the last few years, the muttering has been growing.  Folks are unhappy with the thought that many good things are coming to an end.  We expected, as followers of Jesus, to live peacefully and unharmed in a bounty-filled land.

Wealth and plenty have been ours.  Our voices have been the only ones we heard, as we have grown fat and selfish.

Perhaps, I should speak for myself.  I have heard my own voice as I spoke words I believed to be true.  Speaking and not acting, I have grown fat.  In the absence of opposition, I have grown selfish beyond belief.

And now, in a way my grandparents and my parents never experienced, the world just outside my front door has grown increasingly unfriendly to my comfort and ease.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not claiming persecution.  I’ve seen—from afar—what happens to believers when they are persecuted.  I haven’t experienced even a fraction of that, nor have most folks I’m acquainted with.

But, it may come to that.  Being neither a prophet nor the son of a prophet, I cannot say.

Still, we are promised, not comfort, but discomfort.  We are promised, not open arms from the world around us, but reproach.  Folks we call our neighbors will turn on us.

I’m not talking about end-times prophecy.  I’m simply averring that this is what life will be for us if we truly follow Jesus.  

After all, He is the One who promised hardship.  Promised it.  (John 16:33)

He never asked us to win the battle for men’s hearts for Him.  That’s His job.  He simply asked us to stand firm to the end.

He never suggested that we would be happy and trouble-free because we serve Him faithfully, but He did promise that we will inherit His kingdom.  (Matthew 5:10)  

And, that brings us to the one other thing He did promise:  The day is coming.

The day is coming when all of this will fade into nothingness.  All the pain.  All the sadness.  All the jeering.  All the hardships we’ve ever faced.

All of it.  Nothing.  Nothing at all.

The Apostle Paul wrote down the words he was given by the Spirit:  

There is no comparison in any way between the passing inconveniences of this world and the unbelievable glory which will be ours in the next.  (Romans 8:18)

There are days when I am overcome with weariness—with sorrow—with despair.  This mountain I am facing can never be scaled, can never be conquered.

A friend reminded me tonight of that great fortress called Doubting Castle, kept by the Giant Despair.  John Bunyan wrote of it hundreds of years past.  

Many I know have been held captive there.  Many I know are still chained in its dungeon.

Still, it’s as true today as it was in the days when Mr. Bunyan sat in prison for his faith—still as true as in the early days of the Church:  The world has been overcome by the One we follow.  The outcome has never been in doubt.

Our day is coming.  

Hope’s spark still burns deep within each one who follows Him.

Our enemy doesn’t play by the rules.  He never has.  He seems so much more powerful than we are.  That hasn’t changed, either.

We seem so easily injured and tired out.

But, the game is not over yet.

And, he has been fooled before.

And, defeated.

As it turns out, he’s the one who never had any hope of winning.

I’m going to stick it out.

You?

 

And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.  
(1 Corinthians 15:19 ~ NLT)

 

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times, But that is not for them to decide.  All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
(from The Two Towers ~ J.R.R. Tolkien ~ English novelist ~ 1892-1973)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Perhaps, More Than a Dream

Winslow_Homer_-_RowboatRow, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

I was once again contemplating the idea of eternity tonight when suddenly, I became aware the notes of this song were wafting through the air in my office.

I had to laugh.

Already, I see the heads nodding.

No, not in agreement with the humor I found in the juxtaposition of the old folk song alongside thoughts of eternity.  Heads are nodding in the realization that it has finally happened.  The idiot has finally snapped.  Gone over the edge completely.

Why would one be contemplating eternity?

And, what in the world is funny about hearing a children’s song while contemplating such a peculiar subject?

Perhaps, we’ll consider just one thought at a time, okay?

I was an odd child, I will admit.  At a very young age, I struggled internally with big ideas, while the everyday things went unnoticed.  Perhaps all of us did, but I really can’t speak for anyone else.  I know eternity was one concept with which I wrestled many times.

I would sit in church and sing the words of that last verse of John Newton’s Amazing Grace and I would be AWOL for the rest of the church service–lost deep in thought.

…Ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun…We’ve no less days…than when we’ve first begun.

How does that not mess with a kid’s head?

The idea of eternity terrified me.  No, not the idea of Hell or Heaven—just the thought of a period of time that went on and on without ever ending.

To a child of seven or eight, the concept was as foreign as having all the ice cream you could ever consume and no one ever making you stop eating it.

Everything came to an end.

Church services ended with Amen.  Cowboy movies ended with the hero riding off into the sunset.  Trips in the car ended with us pulling up to Grandma’s house and piling out of the old station wagon.  The school year ended with all the kids walking out and throwing their papers in the wind to cover the playground.

Everything came to an end.  Everything.

I never thought to talk about it with a grown-up.  This was too big, too–I don’t know–sacred.  You didn’t talk about such things; you just grappled with them until you could move on. I think eventually, I just decided if the grown-ups in my life could face that terrifying endless and timeless uncertainty, so could I.

Besides, Jesus would be there.  I wanted to be where He was.

As an adult, I still want to be there.

I have come to realize though, eternity is not only on the other side of that door we don’t want to talk about.

Eternity doesn’t begin with death.  It didn’t even begin with our entry into this world at birth.

Funny thing–if I had known it back then, my mind might have been boggled even more than it was.  The reality is, eternity works both ways–both backward and forward.  How’s that for an enigma?

We live smack-dab in the middle of eternity!  We’re not waiting for it.  We’re not looking forward to it.

Eternity is now!

I’m not a kid anymore.

Today, I look to the future and I want to be sure I’ve done everything I can do with this little piece of eternity I’ve been given to work with, here in this place and time.

I’ll relocate to another neighborhood for the next part of it.  But, right here–right now–I have things that must be accomplished before this part of the eternal timetable moves on and I am no longer able to do what needs to be done.

In some ways, I feel like Alice’s White Rabbit as he rushes about, terrified that he is late and will miss the very important date.  Eternity is passing at a frighteningly rapid pace.

Those were the thoughts in my mind tonight as the little bit of doggerel we began our conversation with made its way into my consciousness. Talk about a dichotomy!

Life is but a dream.

The old children’s song lulls us to sleep, convincing us our lot in life is nothing more than a summer afternoon’s outing on the quiet stream.  All work together, rowing in cadence with those around, and everything will come out just fine.

It almost seems apropos that the song is a round, the endless cycle sung repeatedly by all the voices, each one carrying on the hypnotic mantra, urging the boat’s occupants to move gently.

Don’t rock the boat!  Don’t, for heaven’s sake, attempt to go upstream!

Happy, Happy, Happy!

I can just hear Phil Robertson’s (of Duck Dynasty) voice, calling out the words to keep the natives calm.

Life is but a dream?

Okay, perhaps I wasn’t really amused.  It wasn’t funny ha-ha, just wildly inappropriate that the two ideas should occupy my brain at the same time.

I have noted recently that a number of my friends are attempting to slow down the pace of their lives.  Don’t worry, be happy, say their notes.  Jettison the things that stress you; do only the things which make you feel good; friends who make demands on you aren’t really friends, so dump them.

How can we live the dream when rude people keep waking us up?

But, you see–that’s just the trouble with dreams.  You always wake up.  Reality intrudes.  They end.  Just like everything in that seven year old’s world a lifetime ago.

Life isn’t a dream.

I’m kind of happy to know that it isn’t. I want to row upstream.  I want to blaze paths where the placid stream doesn’t flow.  And, eternity won’t wait; it just keeps moving through our lives, as it has for everyone else in all of recorded history.

Eternity won't wait. Time to wake up and get busy! Click To Tweet

Time to wake up and get busy!

I’ll take eternity, thanks.

 

 

As if you could kill time without wounding eternity!
(Henry David Thoreau ~ American philosopher/author ~ 1817-1862)

 

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
(Ecclesiastes 3:11 ~ NLT)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2013. All Rights Reserved.

The Messenger

“I’ve been doing the same job for almost thirty years.”

The astonishment in the pretty little girl’s eyes was almost amusing.  I was just happy to see a different emotion there than the sadness which had surfaced just moments before.

She had been told she could find a piano teacher at my store and came by, her dad and little sister in tow, to see if she could make arrangements to start lessons soon.  When I told the eight-year-old youngster our teacher had just retired, she was heartbroken.

I explained that the teacher had been doing the same thing for many years and needed a break.  The explanation was not enough to brush aside her profound disappointment.  For some reason, perhaps because I’ve been thinking a lot about the passing years in my own chosen profession lately, I mentioned our upcoming anniversary of running the music store in our little town.

Thirty years!  It was unfathomable!  

In her young brain, doing the same thing for nearly four times the number of years she had been alive couldn’t be imagined.  When I told her I was nearly sixty years old, she just shook her head in disbelief.

“You don’t seem that old.”  She meant it as a compliment.  

I took it as one.

hand-619735_1280Moments later, as the little family prepared to take their leave, the sweet girl approached me, sticking out her hand to shake mine.  I was surprised, but took her tiny hand in mine and gave it a little squeeze.

“My name is Cynthia.  This is my sister, Sara (she pronounced it for me a second time—Sah-rah), and you already know my father.  I’m happy to meet you.”

Stifling a little laugh, I told her to call me Paul.  Satisfied that the formalities had been covered, she followed her dad and sister out the door, still talking as she went.

Cynthia came back to see me today.  Her dad had some business to take care of, but she had business with me, as well.

The young lady had been thinking about our conversation yesterday.

“You know, this thing about you being so old?  You shouldn’t worry about that.  When you die, if you know Jesus, you’ll go to be with Him and you’ll never get any older.  Ever again.  Forever and ever.  That’s how long we’ll live there.”

I thought about hugging her right there in the music store, but that’s not the proper thing for a nearly sixty-year-old man to do with little girls they’ve only just met.  I had to be content with thanking her and assuring her that I did indeed, know Jesus.

You know I’m not worried about dying, right?

Still.

The tears have been close to the surface for awhile now.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe I don’t need to know why.

I am keenly aware that time is getting shorter.  What once seemed an eternity before old age arrived, along with the specter of death which will naturally follow, has now compressed into only a decade or two.

I know that all around me the reminders of our fragile hold on life in this world are multiplying.  Tonight, as I read a friend’s account of his wife’s flight from this world exactly a year ago, I wept.  I hardly knew her, but I read of his sadness mixed with hope and I remembered that, in the natural course of things, the days are moving to that unbreakable appointment for all of us.  

I remember also, none of us has even the promise of tomorrow.  As I hear almost daily of friends who are struggling with diseases which threaten to cut life short, the tears rise again.  

Sadness?  Yes, but also the razor-sharp awareness that time is flying past.

What does all this sappiness have to do with a little girl talking about me having one foot in the grave?  Not much.

What it does have to do with is the fact she was concerned about this old man enough to ask if I knew Jesus.  

A little eight-year-old girl.

When was the last time I shook hands with someone and reminded them that He is the Way, the Truth, and indeed—the Life?

Do I really believe that time is getting short?

This old man has talked enough for one night.  Perhaps, we’ll speak of this again soon.

Then again, just a handshake and a question or two might be better.

Time is flying.

 

 

 

…taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
(Ephesians 5: 16 ~ NET)

 

If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him.
(from My Story ~ Mike Weaver/Jason Ingram)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.