Unlikely Heroes

In the cover of darkest night, the old man weeps.  Alone, he cries until no more tears will come, and still the sobs torment his body.

The time was when he couldn’t shed a single tear.  When very little seemed to touch his heart.  Except harsh reality.  Retribution and reward.  Hard work.

That was before.

So many who walked beside him have gone on ahead now.

oldmandespairStill he walks.  Nearly alone now.

Once, he saw the road ahead clearly.  Almost, it seems, the light of their presence helped to make the way plain for miles ahead.

Bereft of that light, he hasn’t abandoned the way.

And yet, almost as if their presence in his life still yields a flickering beam of candlelight, his dimming eyes can make out the road ahead.  Just barely.

Heroic acts can do that, you know.  Something of their aura clings to the hero.

And yes, I called him a hero.  Many who are never acknowledged as such perform the acts of heroes daily.

No.  Not the type of hero feats performed on the battlefield, nor even those accomplished in lifesaving acts on mountainsides or in the depths of dark waters.

The acts of a hero are sometimes simply to live as one promises to live, to act as one has sworn to act, to stay when one has given his word to stay.

The old man has done all that, and more.  Ofttimes, the hero is a wife, or a mother, or a brother.

We don’t talk about it.  Perhaps it is part of our contract with the young and energetic, but we don’t speak of the ultimate cost.

Maybe we should.

The young home health specialist was obviously uncomfortable as I spoke with him about it the other day.  But then again, he may not be all that young—simply younger than I.  Still, he was reluctant to speak the words.

I asked him if the situations in which he found himself daily were surprising or uncomfortable for him.  He chose his words carefully.

“I love home health work.  Still, there are things that go on in those homes that you wouldn’t believe.  Horrible, painful things.  And, beautiful things.

Refusing to name the horrible, painful things, he instead described folks who take care of their loved ones from daybreak to nighttime and, many times, on through the night.  Their tasks are dirty and uncomfortable.  The regularity with which they are called upon to perform the tasks is constant, with no end in sight.

The years stretch out ahead.  Still, they stay.

I marvel.  In part, I marvel at the hardships that await at the end of our lives, or sometimes surprisingly, early in them.  More than that, I marvel at the audacity of someone who would willingly attend such events.

Still, we don’t speak aloud of the hardships, especially to the young.

I was present at a wedding the other evening.  It was beautiful—the bride, gorgeous and so happy.  The groom, a young man I have known since he was a small boy, beamed from ear to ear with his beautiful young wife hanging on his arm.  And, so he should.

Youth is a heady time of life.  Indestructible and self-confident, no hint of hardship fazes us.  Bring it on!  We can handle anything!  Anything.

The Lovely Lady and I hugged the beautiful young bride and her handsome husband, as I joked that the wedding had gone perfectly.

“That was the easy part.  Now comes the hard stuff.”

The words came from my mouth lightly.  The pair acknowledged the veracity of my statement, perhaps a little more seriously than I intended.  But, the innocence in their beaming faces gave evidence that their young minds had not yet imagined the path their promises on that night will lead them upon.

And, perhaps that’s the way it should be.  Love, if it is indeed love, is a journey beside one another—a growing together, a gathering consciousness of shared joys and pains; of approaching illnesses that will change life for both.

Still, I wonder.  When the young begin their journey together, we throw huge, extravagant parties—celebrations of good intentions, of great hopes.

And when, after years of walking with those one loves and interminable nights of performing unspeakable tasks because of that love, the shared journey comes to an end, there is no celebration whatsoever.

The hero is unsung.  The herculean task of caring for the person one loves is passed over as if it never happened.

It happened.

It happened.

Somehow though, it seems incongruous to celebrate in the face of sorrow and pain.  I wonder if it’s a stretch to think that perhaps, there’ll be a special place of honor for these heroes at the wedding feast of the Lamb.  (Revelation 19:8-9)  After all, who understands marriage better among mankind than those who have fulfilled their oaths to the last breath?

But then again, I think the words of praise from the Lord as he’s welcomed into heaven will be celebration enough.

Well done!  You’ve been a good, faithful servant.  It’s time for you to rest. (Matthew 25:21)

Promises kept build the character of a man.  Debts paid strengthen the integrity of the person.

The old man stood on my porch last weekend and, barely holding back the tears, told me she was gone.  After sixty-six years, he is alone.  

I reminded him of her love for him and his care for her, and he brightened, if only for a moment.  It hadn’t been a storybook marriage, but both had fulfilled their promises.  And then some.

I wish it were time for celebration.  

But, in his room alone, he weeps.

The day is coming.  It is.

The celebration is still ahead.  Crowns will be distributed to the heroes.  And then, offered again to the Hero of Heroes.  

Tears—those evidences of present sorrows that our God counts precious—will by His own hand, be wiped from our eyes.

The old man is waiting for the day.

So am I.

.  

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
(1 Corinthians 9:24-25 ~ NIV)

 

You will never do anything in this world without courage.  It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
(Aristotle ~ Greek philosopher ~ 384 BC-322 BC)

 
© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

A Fake Holiday Observed—Once Again

I’m sure that today, of all days, I should wax eloquent regarding this date set aside for lovers, but I’m drawing a blank.  I went back and read my post from Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago to see if I could glean any ideas for yet another treatise on our annual trek through the sentimental terrain of the day.

Nothing. 

I had no idea of what to talk about the year before that, either.  You see, for all my introspection, all my analytic brooding, I am still no good at the mushy stuff.

I am, after all, a mere man; not given to romantic gestures, save occasionally.  I am also a cynic, believing this date is nothing more than a once relatively obscure holy day, dedicated to an equally obscure saint named Valentine.

Truth be told, there were two men by that name designated as saints by the early Catholic Church, neither of which originally had any connection whatsoever to romantic lore or history.  It is only in the last century that stories have been fabricated to turn the day into one with connotations of romantic love.

The cynic in me believes the hype to be a conspiracy by the commercial concerns which stand to gain financially from the widespread celebration of the fake holiday.

And, do we spend money on the day!

I’m thinking of one Valentine’s Day, many years ago, when a young man, nervous and anxious to impress his young fiancee (she was only seventeen that year), went out and spent every dime he could scrape up to buy a piece of jewelry for her.  Even though it meant there would be no romantic dinner (not even a Number 3 Burger with Tots at the local Sonic), he spent the extra couple of dollars it took to have her initial engraved on the gold-plated stickpin.

It wasn’t even real gold!  Regardless, the gift was eminently successful.  The young lady was duly impressed, or at least appeared to be, and the fact that there was no romantic candlelit dinner went by without comment.

After that, the stickpin could be seen frequently, pinned through the lapel of her jacket or on a scarf worn around her neck, to the lasting enjoyment of both the beautiful young lady and the bumbling young man.

I stole the stickpin out of the young lady’s jewelry box tonight so I could photograph it for you.  She was not happy.  It’s not a thing of beauty anymore.  The shaft is slightly bent (from a too-thick jacket lapel), the edges are showing wear (gold-plated, not solid, you remember), and the clutch is not even the original one.

She doesn’t wear it much, since such trinkets have fallen out of fashion.  But, the Lovely Lady is not through with it yet.  The cheap little piece of costume jewelry has value to her still.  Though no sane person would ever offer anything for it, she would not part with it for money.

I promised to return it before I go to bed, later.  It’s a promise she will hold me to.

This not-so-young man is gratified to realize that the years have not tarnished the feelings a bit.  There have been many months of February which have passed since that one so many years ago.  Most of them have passed with little notice.

And, what of flowers, chocolates, or romantic meals at favorite restaurants?  Those do come frequently, but mostly on other days of the year.  The cynical resistance to the commercialism of the day is shared by both of us.

Yet, not a day goes by that each doesn’t verbally remind the other of our love for them.  We show it in untold ways, too.  As always, I get the better end of the deal.  She doesn’t complain and even insists that she is content with her part of the bargain.  I believe her, although I still can’t understand it.

You know, if you’ve read many of these posts, that I am unashamedly in love with that same young lady who received the cheap little stickpin all those many years ago.

It’s the way marriage is intended to be.

The world around us tells us differently.  Even the celebration of romantic love on just one special day a year is at odds with the reality of what true love is.

Although we know deep down that love is a way of life, and not an emotion, we continue to live for ourselves, selfishly insisting on our own way and indulging in our own pleasure.

By our selfishness, we deny that love is exactly what God says it is.  What we believe love to be is so far from the truth of genuine love that it resembles the original not at all.

Whew!  For not having anything to say on the subject, I’ve dived in headfirst, haven’t I?

Okay.  Discourse done, I’ll step down from the soapbox once more.

Besides, I’ve got to get that stickpin back in the jewelry box before morning…

Let love increase!

 

 

 

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up.  It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful.  It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.
(I Corinthians 13: 4-8 ~ NET)
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
(Martin Luther~German theologian and church reformer~1483-1586)

 
© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2013. All Rights Reserved.